I'm Ready For Self Improvement

Maybe a year and a half is long but it has taken me this long to finally get myself together and decide. I want change. To improve myself. I see many flaws and I do know that I should just love myself for myself but it's not easy for some women, me being one of them. I know that I can be truly happy if I improve myself first. And now... I truly know that I'm ready to change. No more laziness. I won't be saying that anymore I have to do it. I need to stay organized and quit being a bum and just be ACTIVE!!! I plan to start P90X as well as come back and have a healthy eating regime. I am indeed already happy with my LIFE! I love all of my friends and family with all my heart (No matter how much my parents annoy the hell out of me I do love them I just don't say it or admit to it). I love my boyfriend most of all! He's the true and main inspiration for me wanting to improve myself.

2011 is just a new year and I don't this to be another year that just rolls by and then at the end of it I become disappointed in myself. The year always starts off slow but I know that eventually it will just go by in seconds without notice so right NOW I want to START! Start change!

I remember back when I was a freshmen in highschool... Like... around October 2005 was when I started doing just this simple bike exercise at home for like a half hour to 45 minutes and only ate salads like once a day and that's all I ate. In that month I stopped because I got sick but I lost like 5 pounds and damn! Those 5 pounds really made a difference in my appearence for me. 5 pounds seems like nothing but thinking back... it was ALOT! And I was really happy with myself. But then I just stopped and got discouraged because I was sick! How stupid! I look back and I really regret that I regret all those times that I slacked off in PE my freshmen year because it was too intense because damn... Lebeau was INTENSE!!!!

Even thinking about P90X scares the fucking shit out of me but I remember what my Economics teacher, Mr. Baldwin, said: Fear is good! It's damn good! It's what drives us to our goals!

And he's right. As scary as he seemed to people he was a very passionate man about teaching with tough love he gave but that soft kindness he withheld. I really appreciate all of the teachers I had in high school but there were only very few that actually stuck out to me. Mostly him of all, everything he said inspired me but I never actually put that inspiration to use.

There was one day when I stumbled upon this thread in this forum by this girl: Life in the Fat Lane
Hahaha! The title alone was kind of funny yet very fascinating. I took a look and I was blown away by how amazing this girl looked after she loss nearly 40+ pounds in a year! She looked INCREDIBLE!! I wanted to be just like her! But I never took that step forward to actually do it. Her story... was an inspiration.

Then there's that new show on MTV called, "I Used To Be Fat"
Interesting title alone but watching the hour long show from beginning to end it was really amazing how much those people loss so far and how amazing their bodies looked as well. But as well as their smiles! They were soooooo happy! I want to be happy just like them and smile without looking like a fat ass! That show as well has inspired me to Press Play and START!

With his words of wisdom and that sense of motivation I get from the thoughts of my boyfriend and all other senses of motivation... I know I can do this! I may be scared but all the fears I've had in my life I've overcame them. Now it's time to be healthy and active! Even as hard as it gets I can't be wanting to look forward to fast results like those weight loss pills or something that liposuction can do. Real weight loss takes time because with time comes an even greater reward.

I'M READY!!!